My sister (donotforgetyourjacketnewkid): Baby, guess what? There’s an amazing blog on tumblr! This girl postes literally everything I like, she’s in all my single fandoms, you got to follow her!
Me: Really? Oh my god, show me her blog!
My sister: *logs on tumblr*
Me: What’s her URL? Maybe I already follow her.
My sister: Uhm, something like mind-palace-of-a-fangirl.
Me: Babe, it’s me.
Me and my sister:
"Guys," Lydia ushers in a pretty, brunette woman and gestures to her, "I want you to meet Carla." She taps Derek on the shoulder and gives him an intense look, "She’s the friend I mentioned that enjoys cooking, too."
"Oh," Stiles jumps in, throwing his legs over Derek’s lap to prevent him from standing. "You like cooking? Wow, that’s… so unusual. I don’t know anyone else that likes cooking."
Derek smirks at him over his coffee cup, nods at Carla, “Nice to meet you.”
"Hi," Carla goes to sit down next to Derek, and Stiles wiggles his feet at her, gives her an apologetic look. "Okay," she says slowly, perching on the chair next to them instead. "I’d been hoping to run into Lydia again, actually," she looks at Derek, smiles winningly. "I ate at your restaurant last month."
"Oh no," Derek pulls a face, "We were terribly short staffed all through June, I’m so sorry."
"No, it was wonderful!" Carla touches his arm and Stiles eyeballs her hand so hard he thinks he pulls something. She doesn’t notice. Lydia does, however, and elbows him sharply.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT, MY DARLING RENA ♥
Seven new messages in four chats.
PLUS ONE?????? DEREK WHO IS IT TELL ME NOW [Laura, 8:20am]
dude laura just texted that ur bringin someone i think the whole house errupted man [Cora, 8:23am]
better bring someone foreal or they’ll like implode or something [Cora, 8:23am]
I’m so happy for you, honey. [Mom, 8:21am]
But if you’re screwing with us, I will screw with you. [Mom, 8:22am]
Love you. :) [Mom, 8:22am]
Did you find someone on Craigslist to go to the wedding with you? [Boyd, 8:25am]
None of the possible outcomes have painted Derek as a winner in the matter when he calculated which response would get him the least shit from his family. He knows if he had said he’d come alone to the wedding, he’d have gotten messages asking him if he wanted to be seated next to the bachelors and bachelorettes who are also attending, if he adopted fifty cats and the invitation should’ve said Plus Fifty, if he needs a botox treatment to set his features into a less threatening and intimidating default—which, Derek doesn’t even get, because it doesn’t make any sense at all.
On the other hand, petulantly ticking off the Plus One box resulted, as expected, in overzealous messages of surprise, mania, excitement, and Mom’s very unsubtle threat to mess his shit up if he lied about it.
Derek’s had better ways to start his day.
Now that he thinks about it, it was probably an awful idea to say he’d bring someone, because he virtually has nobody he could—or want to—ask to be his date to his sister’s wedding. He’s thought about putting an ad up on Craigslist, but he doesn’t have the time or desire to interview possible applicants to make sure they’re not borderline psychotic weirdos.
Which leaves him with two options: go alone, and fear Mom’s retaliation, and listen to all his family sympathetically tell him that one day he’ll find someone; or get someone else to go with him, someone who might pass as his partner. He can keep up a charade for a couple of days. It’s not that hard.
As it is, Derek’s morning is pretty much a disaster without his family adding to it with their messages. His client moved up their meeting, but he didn’t get the memo until he entered the office this morning, and now he’s rushing into the coffee shop where the meeting is supposed to take place. It’s an unusual choice for a business meeting, but his client is rather unconventional, and this is Derek’s favourite place to get coffee, so he’s not one to object.
After scanning the place, he finds his client hasn’t arrived yet, so he moves to get a table when someone bumps into him, spilling hot coffee all over his front.